Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive. ~ Charlotte Bronte
To count the tears I have cried would be to count the snowflakes blanketing my lawn as I write this. When I was a child, my grandfather in one breath would say, "I'll give you something to cry about!" and in another share, "Kori needs lots of hugs... lots."
So we often grow up in a world that shuns emotion. I don't believe it's because emotion is bad. I believe it's because we don't understand it. We fear it. We don't know what to do with it. And what we fear, we commonly avoid.
I work with a client who grew up being called, "The Emotional One."
As an adult who honors her depths, it's a badge of honor. But as a child... she wore the Scarlet Letter.
But not being allowed to show emotion does not mean she wasn't feeling. Her heart carried the burden of what everyone else could not or would not deal with. Her softness and sensitivity was a sponge for the pain of others, but without acknowledgement or regard.
Her work continues to be deciphering what is hers, and what is.... theirs. She recognizes the extremes she can ride-- on one end bearing it all, attempting to perfectly manage her own behavior for the sake of their comfort, and on the other, numb to her core.
She's strong. She's well practiced in holding what isn't hers. And she'll be stronger, and more alive than ever, with the practice of letting go and allowing others to hold her.
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